@ the airport

wihii I'm getting in the traveling mood by hanging here at the Helsinki-Vantaa airport! Today I'm flying just within the borders of Finland - my destination is Oulu (situated in the middle of Finland) where my boyfriend comes from. He is already there and now I'm going too. We've been apart from each other for over a week now and I'm already missing him quite a lot! So yay for me, I'm seeing him in 3 hours! The flight takes only an hour, but there are still two hours before the flight leaves.

My morning didn't go as well as thought. My intention was to wake up at 7am, get ready and leave a bit past 8am. My bus was supposed to leave at 8.18. But surprise surprise I missed it with one minute or so.. Then I took another bus to Leppävaara and waited for half an hour for the airport bus. It was windy and cold but I made it to here! I'm always kind of nervous at airport before security controls (don't know why) and this time wasn't an exception, especially as this is the first time I'm flying alone. I'm a bit scared of flying but maybe it's good that I have this kind of short flight before I have to fly to Spain all alone on January 21 (just 3 weeks away, oh god!). All my stuff is packed in a bag that I'm taking as a carry-on. It has a little bit overweight so I was nervous because f that too, but no, they didn't say anything at security controls. All my stuff went through without problems but of course the systems beeped when I went through! Even though there's nothing to worry about, I don't like the situation when those systems beep (and it has happened to me almost every time I have flied..). So, they made a personal search and then let me go. Maybe it was my bracelet or earrings or something because I didn't have a belt and I took my shoes off before going through.

So, now I'm just waiting in here for my boarding to start - still an hour and a half to wait! But I guess this trip is worth waiting for :-)

My Christmas

So I said I would post about Christmas and here it comes.

Me and my sister, we have quite traditional Christmas every year and this year wasn't an exception. On Friday we went to our grandma's to decorate her Christmas tree (okay my sister mainly decorated it, but I was there too, just concentrating on chocolates and gingerbread).

Well, Saturday (= Christmas Eve) began as always: having a Christmas porridge with my dad's relatives. Usually there have been more of us, but this year there were just us, our grandpa & grandma, our aunt and her boyfriend. The porridge was veeery good and it was nice to meet my relatives (i haven't seen those since summer).

We spent there about 4 hours and then we both visited our homes and went to our other grandma's (that grandma whose Christmas tree we decorated on Friday). Our mum's relatives came there, we were all in all 9 persons. About 17h30 we had the Christmas dinner and my tummy became soooo full! we were there 'till 11pm and then our mum's brother took us home. i was dead tired and went to sleep almost immediately.

On Christmas Day (Sunday) I was just being lazy until afternoon, when I went to my aunt and uncle's. Christmas foods again and chocolate and gingerbread - and my tummy was soooo full again! I must have gained at least a few kilos during this Christmas! A few pictures more from my aunt's house:

24.12.2011

Merry Christmas to all the people around the world! :-) Hope you all have a good and happy day and some good company to spend this day with. For me, Christmas means warmth and closeness and important people around me. The only thing that makes me sad is that I couldn't spend this day with my boyfriend (as he's maybe the most important person to me at the moment).. otherwise the day has been like it's supposed to be.

The Christmas card I sent to my friends and relatives by email! it says merry Christmas in Finnish :D

In the morning we went to my grandparents' with my sister. My aunt and her boyfriend came too. Traditionally, we ate Christmas porridge (rice porridge with cinnamon) and there were also a good selection of all kinds of chocolates and peanuts! I ate waaaay too much of them :D but it's acceptable at Christmas! We spent about 4 hours with them and then I came to visit home before we went to my other grandma's place for the evening (with my sister, again). There were my aunt and uncle, my cousin + her daughter, another cousin, my mom's brother and our grandma. In the evening we ate the Christmas dinner and gave the presents. I got mostly chocolate presents (we had decided not to buy many presents for us, adults; just for the 4-year-old child). Dinner was good and we had some good time there :-) I also talked with my boyfriend on the phone and the call made me miss him even more. 5 days left without seeing!

Tomorrow I will post some pictures of our Christmas!

snow!!

Just yesterday I wrote here that I don't think that we are going to have a white Christmas here in Finland - and what happened last night..? When I woke up today i saw something white outside! SNOW! Not much but enough to cheer up our supposed-to-be-black-Christmas. And there are still a few days before Christmas Eve so maybe we still get some more? I'm not sure if I mentioned it yesterday, but personally I don't like snow that much - I just don't want to have completely black Christmas.

I went to shopping today as I had time to spend. I bought myself a Christmas present - Canon Ixus 115HS Digital Camera! Yay! Now I can take some pictures in Spain too :) I also bought a BIG traveling bag because there are only about 4 weeks left in Finland - I should soon start thinking about packing. So now I have a new camera and a new suitcase - I'm happy!

Eventually, here you can see some Christmas mood from my home:

less than 5 weeks left in Finland... what?!

First I have to say it was soooo weird to realize a few days ago that I have only five weeks left here at home. I'm leaving on January 20th (Friday) and now there are just 4,5 weeks left! Not until now that it starts to hit me - I'm leaving my home (and the town Ive been living my whole life) and moving to another country for half an year. okay that's not so much, but for me the period feels like many years of being away from home. At least for now - I guess the time passes soon when I'm there, in Spain.

At least I'm now on my Christmas holiday. No stress because of school and not much stress because of work either. Its time to relax and take it easy... Well, of course I should start thinking about packing and the stuff I'm going to take with me and that I'm leaving here. My friend is going to move to my apartment for the spring, so I'm leaving all the big things here - my bed, my sofa, my table, my television etc.. so I don't have to find any place where I could take them. that's good. but I still have to find some place for the clothes that I'm not gonna take with me, for my books and all my personal stuff so that my friend gets some space for her things too. omg I'm sure the packing process will be so hard..!

the time when we still had a white Christmas here in Finland..

So last week, my school stress ended on Thursday when I got my last report returned. I was at work on Thursday and Friday and just hanging around with my boyfriend. On Saturday I had my last riding lesson (gonna miss ponies and riding during next spring!) and in the evening we went for a visit to my cousin's house with my bf. There were also my cousin's bf, my sister, my other cousin and her daughter, my aunt and my uncle. After the visit we went to celebrate my bf's friend's birthday and ended up to a nightclub in Helsinki. The evening was quite nice! On Sunday I just did a LOT of laundry.

Yesterday I felt like sleeping all day long..! I felt so so lazy and sleepy, but in the afternoon I had to do something about it. So, we went to look for some Christmas presents with my bf. I found what I was supposed to and we went to eat to a nice restaurant. I had delicious pasta with fresh tomato sauce, chili, basil and garlic (called pasta alla siciliana). After eating our stomachs full we came to my place and I just wrapped the c´Christmas presents I had bought and then we just watched TV and one movie. Nice, relaxing night :) Today I also felt so sleepy and lazy in the morning (depressing Finnish winter without snow - just rain and dark dark dark) but my bf got me off the bed because I had to accompany him to his train (via his home). He left to spend the Christmas with his relatives to western Finland :( We wont be seeing each other until next week's Thursday so there's over a week without seeing him - we haven't been away from each other for that long during the two months that we've been together. But maybe this is good considering the spring when we'll be apart for half an year (except the week that he will spend with me in Spain in the spring) :|

I don't even like snow that much but Christmas is not THE Christmas without it :(

Now my plan for the next days is just to clean up my home and see some friends that I haven't seen for a while. On Friday I'll go to my grandma's with my sister to make some preparations for Christmas. then I try to relax and enjoy the Christmas time and my last weeks in Finland! Next Thursday I'm leaving for Oulu to spend the New Year's there with my bf and his family :)

my dearest hobby

it took a while to come up with an idea what to write about. now that i have more time (Christmas holidays!!) i try to be more active with the blog, but i just need some innovative ideas what to write about. oh well, i decided that today I'm gonna tell about my dearest hobby, riding.

during these 20 years I've tried quite many sports and activities but, no doubt, the most important for me has always been riding and horses. my riding career started in 2010 (i was 9 years old) as my friend started to take riding lessons. i was with her at the stable many times (even before she had started) just to see ponies and horses. my dad had noticed my enthusiasm and interest in horses so one day he just told me he had booked riding lessons for me too. to be honest, without that decision i don't know where i would be right now.

there were a few drawbacks as i fell off a pony (two times during the first year) and as a pony bit me on the back. i still didn't give up. after two years of riding i got my first care pony (that i took care of a few days a week). he was like the kindest pony at the stable - a little black pony that liked to be brushed and fondled. only bad thing was that he was kind of small and not the strongest one so i didn't get to ride him much and not for long, because he was on the easier lessons. he was my care pony for 4 years until i stopped going to that stable.

at that stable, there were separated lessons for pony riders and for horse riders. i never proceed to horse riding lessons because i was keen on ponies and not too big for them. i didn't get to ride my care pony but i had another favorite pony that i rode almost every time i had a lesson. that pony was small and grey and full of energy every time! so cute and so nice. it was never boring with her.

yep, sadly I became too big for her.

after six years of going to that stable (that was located near to my home and from where i got many many good friends!) me and my dad made the decision of choosing another choice for the hobby. the prices were high and i know i wouldn't have been able to continue with the ponies anymore. my dad got me a pony that i took care of one day per week. he was maybe the nicest pony in the world. he was a private pony - not owned by a riding school. so he was kind of my own once a week. the stable situated further away from my home but my friend went also there (just more often than me) so we went together.

i was very keen on to that pony but too soon he moved to another stable and i couldn't continue anymore. i went to that stable only for half a year. it was spring 2007 when he moved away and my riding pause began.

it was winter 2009 that i got back on the saddle. the stable was kind of far from where i live but i started going there with my friend. for me the place was familiar because i had been there on four summer camps (years 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005). the place was big and there were a riding school's side and a private side. i went back to the lessons. i found my passion for riding again during the one and a half year that i went there. i also found my favorite pony that was kind of like the same as the little grey pony at my first stable: energetic and quick. and a little bigger than the grey one!

in the summer of 2010 i took a horse to take care of a few times a week again (leasing-pony? rented? i don't know..). this time i went there more often, 3+ times a week. she lived at the same stable as the previous one so the place was familiar. that pony was so (sometimes too) energetic and active that it was almost too much for me! me, who loves that kind of ponies. but she was so kind and nice. and cute! that pony became maybe the dearest for me because i went there so many times a week and i spent so much of my time with her.

in the winter 2011 i honestly didn't have much time left for the pony. i had studies and work to do and my way to the stable took an hour per direction so i couldn't handle everything. i stopped riding. and i missed my dear pony. 

after half a year of not riding, this fall, i started again because i missed my hobby so much. the place was same as before - the big place separated into the riding school's side and the private side, and i went back to the lessons. once again. this fall I've been riding there but as i leave for exchange, I'm not going to continue in January. so its a pause with riding once again. but i have every intention to go on when i come back!

©Maria F.

<3

Year 2011!

How old did you turn in 2011? - 20 years old

Do you feel like having become more mature? - Yeah i kind of do feel like that. for the first time in my life i have been able to commit to a relationship!

Did the year meet the expectations? - Well i don't remember having any special expectations but i think this year was quite good after all. especially last two months. <3

WERE YOU...?

At a hospital, for how long and why? - No i wasn't, but i did meet a doctor a few times.
In an ambulance? - No
On a cruise? - Yep, three times. Twice to Stockholm and once to Tallinn.
At a funeral? - Luckily no
At a wedding? - Yes, in August.
On a summer cottage? - Yes, during midsummer
Abroad? - in Stockholm (Sweden) twice, in Tallinn (Estonia) once and in the Hague (Netherlands) once.

DID YOU TRAVEL...:

by train? - twice, to our summer cottage (its located in Hämeenlinna) and back
by bus? - Yes, almost everyday
By airplane? - yes, from Helsinki-Vantaa to Amsterdam (via Riga) and back.
By boat? - Yes, in April, in August and in November.
By something else? - by car and by taxi :D

MEN

Do you have a crush on somebody? - Yep, big time.
Did you kiss? - countless times
Did you sleep with men? How many? - yes, with three men. but not at the same time lol
Did you hug a guy? How many? - Well quite a few. I like hugging!
Did you date? - Yes, and i am dating.

DISAPPOINTMENTS

Did you loose someone important to you? - No, thank god
Did you suffer from heartbreaks? - Well maybe once but i should have guessed the situation earlier so its kind of my own fault.
Did you argued with your friends? - hmm yes I regret very much arguing with my best friend because I'm not sure if we will ever gonna be the same again..

DRUGS

Alcohol - at times, when having a party (especially in the summertime)
Illegal drugs - no
Cigarettes - some, in summer i smoked more than now, nowadays almost never
Snuff - no!!

RANDOM
[x] was at bar
[/] cried of joy
[x] cried of grief
[x] was happy
[x] depressed
[/] loosing weight
[x] got something I've been wanting for a long time
[x] did something that i regret
[x] was being crazy


WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME..?

You made someone happy? - umm... i guess yesterday :)
Dressed up in a special way? - well today i will but last Monday for the Christmas party
Used a wig? - well i really don't know..
Drank juice? - i don't remember

Ate cake? last Friday
Listened to music? - now!
Slept? - well i woke up like an hour ago, nice nap thanks for asking :D
Ate? - before the nap
Laughed? - Today at school
Cried? - a few weeks ago, i guess?
Sang? - at least last Friday, karaoke :D
Smiled? - Today at school. Especially the night before yesterday when i was said something special.
Took a picture of yourself? - i doooont remember
Said a weird word (in your opinion)? - i guess everyday :D
Said hey? - Today
Spoke another language than Finnish? - well now that I'm answering these... but okay, yesterday i really spoke
Had a dream? - almost every night
Good dream or bad one? - they are always just weird...
Were happy? - This morning i felt very happy, at least :)
Have you wished something for Christmas? - Actually nothing special
Where and how are you gonna spend the Christmas? - Here, with my relatives and family :) traditionally!
What are you gonna do at New year's? - I'm gonna go to Oulu (located in the middle of Finland) with my boyfriend to meet his family!

I've never felt this way before.

 ~you make me feel...

Okay last time i wrote about happiness and the problem of defining it. well that subject had a lot to do with my current situation, because this is the first time in years that i can admit that most of the time i feel happy or lucky. last years have been so hard for me that I've always found something that ruins my feeling of being happy. of course there are things like that also now, but this feeling of happiness is kind of strong and beats the other things (usually). honestly i could divide my life into three things - being happy/lucky, being stressed because of school and work and sleeping and not thinking about anything (okay this could be combined with the first one because i feel happy when i get to sleep).

http://delacorr.deviantart.com/art/A-Love-for-the-Arts-14540763

And yeah, this feeling is due to a huge crush that I'm having. yes i admit that I've had some crushes on some people before, too, but it has never been like that. we are dating. I'm in a relationship. wait, what? me - a good example of a person who is afraid of commitment. I'm not familiar with the situation because I've never been able to go on with the dating things and so on. i think it is because I'm so afraid of losing.

~make you feel my love

But as i said - this time its different. I'm so, completely, into it and I'm so happy about it. I've found someone that makes me happy and lucky and who really cares about me - and shows it. i cant believe this is happening to me. I've never met anyone like him. its just confusing that all this is happening so fast. we had known each other (we are studying in the same place, but different fields) for about half an year but we had almost nothing to do with each other until this fall. we started chatting with each other through facebook and it wasn't long until we had set up a meeting. god i remember how nervous i was before that. i knew i was interested in him but i would never have guessed that we would end up like this - and so soon. after that first meeting between just us two, we saw each other every day for the next week. after a week from our first date, we made the decision of being in a relationship. for me it was kind of obvious already then, because i had no interest in being with anyone else but him. and i guess it was the same for him because we agreed on that matter - being single changed officially into being in a relationship - for the first time in my facebook-time. and also the first real thing that can be defined as a relationship in my life.

©Free valentine cards

Now its been over a month since i experienced all that. i can tell that it was hard to get used to the idea of NOT being single. into the idea that i have the best boyfriend in the world that cares about me and wants to be with be. that i could never let go.

~i won't let you go

And yes - I'm still leaving on January for my exchange period in Spain. Confusing. I mean its confusing that the thing you've been waiting for so long, more than anything, is now a thing that you aren't actually waiting for anymore. the thing that feels exciting but still distressing. I still don't know how we manage through that. For me, half an year is a long time, but for now its enough for me that i know that i couldn't imagine myself being with anyone else right now. i just wish that things didn't have to change even though i know they are gonna change. but i believe than we can make through my exchange period. i have a trust in our relationship. he is too good for me, and for now, i cant lose him. i just cant. i would like him to be here every minute of every hour of every day. we'll make it through!

valencia!!

 so it's VALENCIA on the 20th of January 2012 then!

i bought my flight about an hour ago, finally. ive been talking a lot about buying it but i just haven't done it. until today! happy happy happy! so im gonna leave on the 20th of January (Friday) in the afternoon from Helsinki-Vantaa airport (Finland) towards Spain. First im gonna fly to Barcelona (<3) and then from Barcelona to Valencia, and i will be there at 00.25 or something.

Then i have ten days to "make myself home" (as if it happened that fast..) before the school begins. Luckily i have one person from our school there already (she's gonna stay there also for the spring) so i guess i wont be totally alone during the first days there :) and there are two other girls coming to Valencia from our school for the spring too!

im excited now! im so looking forward to leaving, but first i should get my courses registered and some papers sent there too. i already decided the courses once and sent the papers there but now i have to do it again.... well, quite a many persons have said to me that it's anything but easy with the course registering and stuff when going there... well i just have to go and talk with our school's coordinator and try to get these issues solved as soon as possible.

enough for now,

¡adios!

motivation?

heeeello.

i havent been blogging because i have a huge motivation problem with EVERYTHING. if motivation can be bought somewhere, please tell me.

i started studying again about a month ago and im already pissed off with my studies. every other week i work in our school's "restaurant" (as a part of studies, without being paid...) and those days aren't always easy. the other weeks we have theory lessons and i have those even more than working in that restaurant. i cant concentrate. im not too interested in the things we go through, and even though i would be, i get depressed of all the work we have to do for our courses. at this moment my motivation is all gone and i would quit my studies if i could. the only thing that keeps my going, or should i say studying, is that there are not soooo many months any more till i go to spain for exchange. i would be so ready to go already!!

me working at school.... "good times" NOT?

on september i had quite a lot going on. i moved - again - but now im happy with where i live. i dont know how ill be able to leave this apartment when i go to spain... im also one year older now. i turned 20 about a week ago (an age crisis!) and i celebrated that with my friends last weekend.

two years ago, as i turned 18, we were in barcelona with my friend. "good times" YES!!

one thing that makes me at least a bit happier is that i started riding again. Riding has always been the only hobby that i like and it has been 11 years now since i started it. i hadnt ridden a horse for half an year but last week i had my first riding lesson again. happyface! and today was another lesson. it makes me forget all the stress etc and makes me feel better - i can feel it.

me and the pony i rented an year ago :)

whooaa i got this updated. maybe one day ill find my motivation again and update this more often. lets see about that..